Why is R.W.A?

Well friends, like a lap dance at the Spearmint Rhino, all good things must come to an end. This is the final act in our initial "hard-hitting" puff piece that is designed to give readers the impression journalistic questions are being answered while really just marketing the blog itself. It has ultimately been successful though as the blog has developed a consistent reader base (almost at 100 views y'all). I feel like this may all still be from "The Littlest Hobo" shout out as all the traffic is coming from Canada (we lost Germany - apparently Iron Savior is a bigger deal than I thought) but regardless a blog hit is a blog hit (except the 47 that come from me frantically checking the page, I don't know if those count (Enron style accounting says yes)).

Anyway today has Matt Lauer and the gang asking "Why is R.W.A?". My response is that the Today show has been in descent ever since Katie Couric left (although Meredith Vieira stemmed the bleeding and will always be #1 soccer mom in my heart). The presence of Kathie Lee Gifford just reminds me that she is a poor man's Kelly Ripa (and by poor I mean homeless). Matt should probably flee to nighttime television before they recruit Elizabeth Hasselbeck and the average I.Q. of Americans everywhere drops by 7 points. But I digress...

Breakfast television conflicts aside this megablog was formed for multiple reasons but first and foremost is the fact that I am bullish on blogs. As Barry Obama and the Republican flavour of the week (I'm not sure exactly who is the commandant of the Reps at this point but it's gotta be this gentleman because I have been hearing a lot about him) continue their bickering over how they can formulate a plan which will both bankrupt the country but allow them to get elected in 2012, it occurred to me that the average American is not going to have the "fist full of dollars" that were all the rage of the 90's/00's.

Since Canada's main source of income comes from panning for gold in rivers/streams I'm not too concerned but while we will scrape by (literally, with pans at the bottom of streams), the amount of money Americans have to spend on "goods and services" will be dropping drastically. As they are driven away from things that actually cost money blog consumption will rise tenfold. As a purveyor of quality information rivalled only by the pages of the now defunct "News of the World" I have created this blog in anticipation of the upcoming run on blogs. My ultimate goal is to become a worldwide "Blog Mogul" and shape the outcome of public opinion by acting as the puppeteer behind several high profile twitter accounts. It's a lofty goal, but one my good friend Rupert could only admire.

Aside from my aspirations of worldwide blog dominance (blominance? bloginance?) I have a few personal goals for this blog: to make you laugh, to introduce you to new music, to provide witty candor on current events and relate all three to my home and native land. Unfortunately, some of these goals are somewhat dichotomous which will ultimately lead me to create fictitious characters. This will enable me to continue to further the narrative without creating confusion about the goals. If sitcoms have taught me anything it is that people are confused by characters who don't make consistent decisions relating to the plot (Joey is dumb and likes sex! Chandler is the sarcastic one!) so don't be surprised if by the time this thing winds itself up there are 167 different characters. At that point you won't even need to read the blog, you'll just read the "author" and immediately know the tone and probable content of the post and will save me from actually having to create any new content - a big dub for my blog empire.

That's all I've got for now so lets all appreciate the fact we have gotten through this myriad (read: hemhorraging shit-ass) of questions and the blog can now find its cadence in regularly posted random content. The training wheels are off folks!